either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
