i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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