please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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