You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
