also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
