better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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