He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
