you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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