Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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