Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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