I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Randomize
