I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
