last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
