I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
don't judge my taste in strippers
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
