Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
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smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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