I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize