you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
