I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
