what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
