thus making me awesome and them whores
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
