is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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