no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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