I'm going to rape someone's good day.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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