You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
