I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize