Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Congratulations! We have a period
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