After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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