and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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