I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
