you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
