He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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