I want to make a zoo with you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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