I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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