my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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