I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
