You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
