i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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