I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
