This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
