I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
