Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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