So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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