he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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