I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
