I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I forget how to act sober
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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