u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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