Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
