Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
