the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize