At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
two words...techno handjob
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We're too hungover to prance.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
