Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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