I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
