I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
