Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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