so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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