Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
