then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
