i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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