i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
