Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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