She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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