i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
