You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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