yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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