im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
