I want to make a zoo with you.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
