I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
